SLEEPLESS (ongoing, 2018 - present)
Sleepless is a series about romantic desire, secrets, and self-destruction. In this series I recreate moments from my life when desire was confusing, ambiguous, or wrong. I’m especially interested in visualizing the liminal space between desire and action, what I call “emotional synapses” — those hazy moments suspended between will and is and was.
Instead of recreating scenes from my life in a way that is cinematic, striving for an objective and distanced retelling, I focus on the sensory details of my memories: light falling on skin, water droplets on arms, the placement of a hand. Or, I use self-portraiture to interpret my internal state of experiencing and remembering a moment in time. In this way, the series is also about memory and the stories we craft about ourselves.
This series is my way of scrutinizing my queer sexual identity (which I’ve come to fully understand only in my early 30’s), past romances, my relationship to my partner of 10 years, and the choices I’ve made. I offer this series not to be read as a clear narrative, but as a rhythm. My goal is for each photograph to be ambiguous, to suspend viewers in the grey area between propriety and transgression – a territory where many of us eventually find ourselves.